Being pregnant is one thing. Babysitting is another. Hanging out with your little cousins.. you get the idea. Nothing is like being a full time parent. You are a mom when you are at work, taking her out, communicating, teaching, taking a shower, cooking, driving safely, interpreting baby noises and cries. The mindset applies to everything and it is almost instant and automatic that you get it. When I buy something, the first things I think is "Is it safe?" and "Will she be affected by it?" Every action is not your own anymore. I find myself constantly scanning whatever environment we are in for corners and sharp things and breakables and strangers. When I am at work, this is when I am away from her at the most extended period of time. Yet, I take actions and create and accomplish while thinking "I must do this correctly so that I can support her and she will be proud." It's not all that silly to want the cliche "the best" for your child. Since the day(s) of my 41 hour labor, it's all I could think.
I hear people talk about how much they do for their kids like it's a chore or a rather annoying inconvenience. How could that be? Why not be partners in crime instead of parent with burden? I let her have opinions and talk to her like any other person. Because she is one and she counts. It irks me that people get upset that their kids don't do exactly what they want. She has desires and curiosities. Ever hear people talk to their children dumbing down words and with baby talk? Look, kids understand what you teach them. I may seem like a novice parent since my child is small, but she gets it. Why do people teach their kids stupid words is beyond me. you can learn the baby word as easily as the proper pronunciation. Underestimating the intelligence of a child is one of my biggest pet peeves. I have seen my daughter demonstrate her understanding of my 10 dollar words as much as any other. Pushing your kids forward too young and living vicariously is one thing, encouraging learning and communication is another.
Being a mom means fun is now going shopping at Target, using coupons for baby food (sales are so exciting), knowing all the people in the supermarket by name, spending way too much time at the mall, going to dinner and ice cream in only kid friendly places. It also means you don't realize until you actually are at work that you have a peanut butter handprint on your shirt to display at your morning meeting. And it means appreciating your mom and dad for all they did. These are not drawbacks or liabilities to your once flourishing social life, you just have different pleasures and lifestyle. So what I can't drink and party till I'm sick anymore? so what I can't buy extravagant things? or date several guys in a week? or be irresponsible with my life? or be "free?" Nothing is really worth lamenting over. Being a mom has not matured me. I hate when people say that. I have a life and am exactly as crazy as before, just different.
Parenting is tons of responsiblity but tons of fun too. All of the stuff that can be considered strange to do as an adult, is suddenly okay to do with a kid and not get looks. hehe. I could run around the supermarket with her in the shopping cart with no problem. We could play in the toy store for hours without buying anything. We could talk and eat cheerios and be totally exempt from everyone else having to be quiet and courteous. We wear matching clothes, dive into the sand, swing dance in the living room, yell and jump in the elevator, stomp on all the doomats in the apartment hallway. If I hear a song I like in a store, I pick her up and slow dance right there.
I like the fact that she looks for me when she needs something. I love that she is confident that she could count on me for comfort. What a way cool concept to be so in touch with her. Moms have this power to tell well from sick, tiredness from crankiness. snacktime from lunchtime, scared from I don't wanna anymore. Her credit is due too. She knows repeatedly shouting "MOM!" gets me out of any bad day. She looks at me with this little smile prompting me.
"That will all change when she is older" or "you don't know what you are in for" are annoying and unnecessary threatening statements people make when I talk about what a pleasure it is to be a parent. I don't care if anyone puts down or discourages my enthusiasm.
Moms are lucky. We have no idea.